It's the last few days of 2025, and I know many of you are getting the famous end of year marketing message: "New year, New YOU!". You are getting the Amazon book recs for setting new good habits and the spam emails offering a low gym membership price. They promise you that a better you is waiting just below the surface.

And as a Mom, you might be quietly experiencing this voice that wonders "what did I do this year?" and "I should be doing more."

Let's pause right here and let me say loud and clear - if all you have done this year is breathed through difficult moments, and kept the tiny human(s) alive, you have done enough. You are not behind nor are you failing. You are very likely exhausted.

Why Traditional Goal Setting Doesn't Work for Mothers

Most goal setting advice assumes a few things.

• You have enough sleep
• You have control over your time
• You have a nervous system that is fairly well regulated

Motherhood offers.... none of that. So when goals are set without accounting for the mental load, the emotional labor, the constant hormonal shifts, and the fray of our nervous system, the goals don't motivate us. They actually end up shaming us. We feel like we failed at accomplishing the thing that we set out to do and that somehow this is our fault.

So instead of asking yourself "What do I want to accomplish this year?" I invite you to examine a different question.

What Would Actually Support Me in the Season I am In Right Now? 

Not the season you wish you were in or the season you were in 5 years ago. This one. Right here, right now. Support based goals shift the focus from self improvement to self attunement. They ask you to listen first before you leap.

Examples of Realistic, Nervous System Friendly Goals.

Here are some ways this might look in real life: 

• Instead of "I'll work out 5 times a week" try "I'll move my body in any way that feels good as often as I feel the need to."
• Instead of "I will not scream at my kids anymore" try "I'll notice when I am feeling overwhelmed and pause before I explode."
• Instead of "I'll will not say mean things to my husband" try "I will name my feelings and ask for the help I need instead of botteling it up."

Notice how these goals are not about becoming a saint. They are about micro adjustments that allow life to be a bit more livable.

The Power of the Tiny, Compassionate Goal

If you are feeling depleted, your capacity for change is smaller. The early years of raising a child or adjusting to perimenopause are not the times in life where you have boundless energy. This is just a biological part of life. But that doesn't mean you can't set goals for yourself. These are just goals that are more about consistency than anything else. This can look like...

• Drinking a glass of water right when you wake up.
• Stepping outside once a day.
• Choosing to inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth when you feel irritable.
• Going to bed 15 minutes earlier.
• Asking for help without overexplaining.

These may not look impressive on paper, but they create real shifts in mood, energy, and resisliancy.

Let this Year be the Year you Stop Treating Yourself Like a Problem to Fix

Motherhood asks so much of you; you don't need any more pressure. This year doesn't need to be about "being better". It can be about becoming more supported, more resourced, more at home in who you are. And if you want help in managing that inner critic that tells you that you are failing or "should" be doing anything, reach out. I'm accepting new Clients right now and would be happy to chat with you to see if I'm a good fit for you. Book a free consulation call with me.

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